Who Changed This Shoe Display?

So far I have gone on about a dozen dates, which isn't too shabby considering this is only the beginning of week four for me and this dating extravaganza.  I must admit the differences between each of these men have been quite vast, which has continued to keep me intrigued.  Some have been shy and not very talkative, a couple have been downright boring, but most have been outgoing and glad to interact with me in stimulating conversations.  However, there has been one major commonality with all of them, they have all wanted to share with me their one "dating story."  That one story about the wild or incredibly crazy woman that they met just that one time, from a dating site.  Whether she is psycho, loose, or both doesn't really matter.  What does matter, is that they think this is an okay subject to bring up on our first date.  Seriously, do they think that I care, or more importantly, want to know what she did or said with him?  Aren't we supposed to be getting to know one another, not unveiling an unrelated dating escapade (or should I say sexcapade)?  When did it become okay for men to share with women (specifically a woman they hardly know) their dating experiences in such graphic detail?  Personally I am all about sharing and even over-sharing with those whom I am really close with, but really that is taking it a bit too far for a first date. Don't they understand the impression they are giving at that point?  Or do men no longer care about impressing a woman? 

From over-sharing to over-stepping boundaries, these changes are not what one would expect on a first date.  Personally, if this has become an acceptable behavior from men, I must admit I don't really care for this change.  When I walk up to a shoe display, I like to see the shoes beautifully arranged so I can admire every pair from any angle.  You can see what is being offered and the qualities and flaws immediately and whether a shoe is worth your time for further inspection and possibly worth purchasing.  Unfortunately, this new behavior is like someone just threw a bunch of shoes in a giant pile on a table and said "enjoy!"  Who can enjoy that?  I don't want to dig through a pile of shoes in the hopes of finding something.  I could waste hours digging and never find the pair I am looking for or my size.  Who has time for that?  Certainly not me. 

Shoes and Men

Ever notice that dating is a lot like buying new shoes?  I mean really, think about it for a minute.  It is completely the same in many ways.  Trying to find that one perfect pump that you have in your mind, good luck with that.  See a gorgeous pair of boots only to find out they fit terribly?  Or maybe upon first glance a heel looks simply fabulous but once you get a closer inspection you notice that it is cheaply made and falling apart.  Really, the similarities between dating men and shopping for heels are quite astounding.

Take my very first "date."  On paper he was impressive; his pictures were fantastic.  We had so many things in common, I thought for sure this was going to be a slam dunk.  I was already planning our second and third dates in my mind.  Then we met.  He didn't think standing up when he introduced himself was important, he already ordered his coffee, hello, this is a coffee date, right?  What a disaster.  It was like ordering a heel online.  The picture is simply fabulous, the write-up is great but then the shoe arrives and you know you have been played by good online marketing.   

My new beginnings!

So here is my back story.  Met my ex-husband when I was 19, married him when I was 20 and last year I became a single woman.  After almost 20 years of being married I am now venturing back into the dating arena at the age of 40.  How can you compare or even begin to comprehend how much things have changed in one's own personal life and the world around you since the age of 19? How do you navigate the dating world at the age of 40 when mentally you feel like you are that 19 year old all over again?  Tough questions and even tougher to answer, no matter how often I try. 

Alright, tough questions aside, it is agreed that things aren't the same in the dating arena, but I was, and am, game to try it out.  Unfortunately, after a few dates here and there I wasn't really finding any success, no real chemistry or connection.  A friend suggested that I try a dating site instead as a way to sort of introduce my new self back into dating again.  After some contemplation, I figured what the heck, why not try it out.  Instead of signing up for one, however, I signed up with three sites. Might as well see if the odds are in my favor with more sites working to help me out, right?

After a few dates, I decided this journey was too great of a story to be left untold.  My blog is my chronicle of this adventure, because an adventure this surely is in every way!