As I was writing the first two parts of this series, I hadn't really intended going into a third. After all, how much can one person write about concerning a break-up and all that it entails? Okay, I am sure there are authors out there that can fill up books on the subject but here things are left brief. It wasn't until I was writing the second part that something occurred that really pushed for this third and final installment.
The "reconnection."
Oh it will happen and typically when it does, it takes you completely off-guard. You have finally pushed through all of the pain and questions, moved on to a better mind-set, maybe even started dating again. When suddenly it happens, the dreaded text or call arrives. What do they want? Why now? Why in the world have they decided to contact you when they made it perfectly clear that they wanted to move on without you in their life? Seriously, this can cause all sorts of problems, even a possible brain explosion from the new questions that will form immediately in your mind upon seeing that number appear on your cell phone.
Obviously I am not a scientist, so my research into this phenomenon is purely unscientific at best but I am pretty sure this information is spot on as being close to accurate. After discussing this with several different male and female friends, it was determined that men don't know anymore about what they want than women do when it comes to relationships and men want to always feel in control. Now this first assumption (and who are we kidding, these are only assumptions, as again, not scientific here) is definitely plausible. After all, we all think we know what we want but just watch people that go into any sort of bakery or ice cream shop. They will change their minds a hundred times only to arrive back at their first choice. Seriously, I am not one to disagree with this just based on my shoe shopping habit alone.
It is the second assumption that really confused me the most; it required me calling and texting several different male friends just for re-verification. The mutual consensus was that for men, when they break off the relationship, they are then in control at that moment in time. If you throw a tantrum, act crazy, call or text them a dozen times a day, you are fueling the assumption you are crazy and they remain in control. However, if you act maturely and let them walk away without a firestorm of emotions it apparently leaves them confused, disarmed, and of course, feeling not in control. By texting out of the blue they are looking for re-assurance that they can maybe regain that lost feeling and be in control once more of the relationship. How you respond (or if you respond) is very important at this stage of the break-up.
The best course of action would be to politely ignore any and all attempts from your ex at this juncture. You will continue to remain on top, while leaving them perplexed and desiring you more than they did when they were dating you. However, it is understandable that for some, this will not be a possibility. The lure to respond, to re-kindle is too great. To those, I say be cautious. Make sure that this is really the road you want to travel down again as sometimes recuperating a second time can be twice as devastating than the first. Just consider, if you walked into a shoe store and the salespeople were awful, the prices were too high, and the heels were of poor quality, would you still purchase something? If you did, and the new high heels you bought fell apart after a week, would you go back for a refund? Would you ever shop there again? If you answered no, then more than likely you would consider the same for your past relationship. If you answered yes, please talk with friends and family, you really are in need of an intervention of the fastest kind from loved ones! Don’t look behind you for your future, it isn't there. Always look straight ahead. We leave things behind for a reason, even if we don’t fully understand, appreciate, or even realize it at the time.
The "reconnection."
Oh it will happen and typically when it does, it takes you completely off-guard. You have finally pushed through all of the pain and questions, moved on to a better mind-set, maybe even started dating again. When suddenly it happens, the dreaded text or call arrives. What do they want? Why now? Why in the world have they decided to contact you when they made it perfectly clear that they wanted to move on without you in their life? Seriously, this can cause all sorts of problems, even a possible brain explosion from the new questions that will form immediately in your mind upon seeing that number appear on your cell phone.
Obviously I am not a scientist, so my research into this phenomenon is purely unscientific at best but I am pretty sure this information is spot on as being close to accurate. After discussing this with several different male and female friends, it was determined that men don't know anymore about what they want than women do when it comes to relationships and men want to always feel in control. Now this first assumption (and who are we kidding, these are only assumptions, as again, not scientific here) is definitely plausible. After all, we all think we know what we want but just watch people that go into any sort of bakery or ice cream shop. They will change their minds a hundred times only to arrive back at their first choice. Seriously, I am not one to disagree with this just based on my shoe shopping habit alone.
It is the second assumption that really confused me the most; it required me calling and texting several different male friends just for re-verification. The mutual consensus was that for men, when they break off the relationship, they are then in control at that moment in time. If you throw a tantrum, act crazy, call or text them a dozen times a day, you are fueling the assumption you are crazy and they remain in control. However, if you act maturely and let them walk away without a firestorm of emotions it apparently leaves them confused, disarmed, and of course, feeling not in control. By texting out of the blue they are looking for re-assurance that they can maybe regain that lost feeling and be in control once more of the relationship. How you respond (or if you respond) is very important at this stage of the break-up.
The best course of action would be to politely ignore any and all attempts from your ex at this juncture. You will continue to remain on top, while leaving them perplexed and desiring you more than they did when they were dating you. However, it is understandable that for some, this will not be a possibility. The lure to respond, to re-kindle is too great. To those, I say be cautious. Make sure that this is really the road you want to travel down again as sometimes recuperating a second time can be twice as devastating than the first. Just consider, if you walked into a shoe store and the salespeople were awful, the prices were too high, and the heels were of poor quality, would you still purchase something? If you did, and the new high heels you bought fell apart after a week, would you go back for a refund? Would you ever shop there again? If you answered no, then more than likely you would consider the same for your past relationship. If you answered yes, please talk with friends and family, you really are in need of an intervention of the fastest kind from loved ones! Don’t look behind you for your future, it isn't there. Always look straight ahead. We leave things behind for a reason, even if we don’t fully understand, appreciate, or even realize it at the time.
Inspiring to say the least. Forge ahead ladies!
ReplyDeleteAdmit it, the make-up s#x is great.
ReplyDelete@anonymous, that is always true, lol. but again, be cautious, as it can still have consequences. ;-)
ReplyDelete