Shopping At A New Store?

So yes, I am a very loyal shopper.  Once I find a store I love, I am bitterly loyal to that store, even when service starts to slack, I find excuses to continue shopping as usual.  Other stores might try to draw me in but still I remain, unswayed by their efforts to pursue and persuade me to venture in.  This loyalty is rather perplexing considering there is no contract involved, written or verbal.  Why am I so unyielding to change, to venture out?

Imagine my surprise when a week ago another new offer was extended to me and I unbelievably decided to say yes to the offer of venturing outside my comfort shopping zone.  After very little debate on my part I am going to try another store.  Will the service be the same?  The merchandise appears to be of good quality but what does a cursory glance really tell you. Am I crazy to step out of my realm of comfort and predictability?  Maybe they will prove to be even better than my favorite store.  Or maybe this little experiment will help me determine if I should continue to remain loyal to my current store and look into pushing for a more formal loyalty program from them before any more shopping commences on my part.  So much to consider in only a few more days.      


 

Was I Shopping Here?

Ever gone into a shoe store, found the shoe you were looking for but not a sales clerk can be found for assistance?  So you wait, and wait, and wait some more for anyone to appear. Fidgeting, becoming agitated until finally you are setting the shoe down as you have had enough waiting and are leaving.  Miraculously someone appears from nowhere to assist you with your shoe search.  Where have they been all this time?  Were they watching on some hidden camera waiting until they knew you were about to leave in order to make their appearance?  Probably not but it certainly feels that way in the moment.

For the past month this has been occurring in my dating life.  We go out, have a great time, then nothing. Days and days pass and just when I have gotten to the point of giving up and assuming he has lost interest, he calls.  Does he know I have reached my limit with waiting?  Is this a test?  Or is this simply lack of understanding and very good timing on his part?  More importantly, does this deserve further research?  Being that I am enjoying my time with him, for now I will say yes and continue investigating.  We will see how all of this plays out. 

Photo Shop Anyone?

Ever flipped through a magazine and noticed a hot pump that you just thought you had to purchase?  Only problem, the photographer only gave you a small view of the shoe, from just the front. So you search online, spending hours, maybe even days before eureka, you find it!  Unfortunately, there is a tiny problem.  Your search has uncovered why the photographer only provided you with such a small preview of the shoe, it is simply awful and not worth the time you have wasted.  Yes, you were definitely duped.

After three separate dates I have come to a similar conclusion with some of my matches.  Each of these three different men provided only a head shot as their profile picture.  Funny thing, none of them looked like their picture when we met.  Was this deliberate photo editing or possibly just older pictures?  Who knows and frankly, who cares.  Regardless of the answer, I was duped into thinking I was meeting one person when in reality that person did not exist except on a very altered photo.  Do they not realize their extra pounds, shrinking hairline, advanced years will all come to the forefront when we meet in person?  Had they shown the confidence to project who they really are I might have actually been inclined to go out with one or any of them again.

Whatever happened to the self-assured man?  Why are they hiding in plain sight?  I am confident they are still out there, I just haven't flipped through enough magazines yet or tried on enough shoes to find them but I am hopeful nonetheless.    

Should I pack my credit card or gun?

Ever go into a store and wonder why the sales person continually follows you around trying to push some ridiculous shoe on you to purchase?  You came in looking for a classic, black pump and they are under pressure to get rid of last seasons worst seller, some overpriced, trendy flop, or even worse a shoe made for a grandmother. Haven't they paid attention to you and your request?  After all, you are the customer, right?  Unfortunately, they haven't been listening to you and have completely ignored your specific shopping needs.  Your shopping experience has turned into a disaster and all you want to do is flee the store without a purchase.

Lately I have noticed that all three of my dating sites have been sending me "matches" that just aren't working, at least not for me.  Many are old enough to be my father, several live out of state; none of the criteria I have specifically requested is being matched on my end, only on theirs. Seriously, what's a girl to do?  Ignoring them is a great start and which is what I typically do for the most part.  However, they aren't deterred, they just email and wink and email and wink until they finally get agitated that I have completely ignored them and give up. That is for a few weeks and then they start all over again with their attempts to get my attention.

I suppose I could be angry at the lost time and aggravation the sites have created on my end with all of the mismatches they have directed to me, but I accept that as part of the experience.  Overall, the sites do try to filter most of them out for me but many still find a way to skirt around the filters or criteria and contact me.  It is the direct contacts that I find to be the most problematic. Why would someone who likes spending all of their time fishing, hunting, and camping in the great outdoors think that I, who spends most of her time in the city, would be a "perfect match" because we just have so much in common?  Really?  I suppose you could, on a very basic level, compare hunting for a deer to hunting for a good deal on a heel.  The major difference, mine gets bagged and tagged for me once I hand them my credit card and no firearm was necessary for the hunt.   

   

Why Comfort Sucks!

The last couple of weeks was like a triathlon of dating for me.  A date almost every single day or night, which unbelievably can be rather exhausting.  Finally some time to rest and reflect on what has been going on with my life, that is until my date tonight. 

I met some great guys and some not so great.  Again, another one who refused to stand when meeting me and a couple who just didn't relate to me enough on any level for either of us to want to experience a second date. However, I have actually met a couple that I am happily interested in and would like to get to know them better. 

One is simply fabulous, almost too perfect for me in all ways.  The major drawback for me is he is "comfortable."  No one wants to buy that shoe.  It doesn't really matter that you can stand and walk in that shoe for an entire week without removing it and never feeling tired, the shoe is just simply atrocious. You can't bring yourself to walk over to the display to touch it, most less try it on for size.  It is just not foot worthy, as beauty, like life, should never be too comfortable.

Instead, I am, of course, drawn to the one on display that will definitely cause me discomfort and possibly pain, is a bit too high, maybe a tiny bit too pointy, and will definitely cause my calves and feet to scream for hours.  However, pain and discomfort aside, it fits wonderfully and I feel simply amazing when I have that beauty on my foot.   

I suppose I have known what my decision would be but it doesn't make it any less easier to tell my comfortable friend that I am not interested in him.  How does one explain that you would rather enjoy a life that is filled with occassional beauty, love, and a bit of pain and discomfort, rather than a boring life that is always just comfortable? 

Who Changed This Shoe Display?

So far I have gone on about a dozen dates, which isn't too shabby considering this is only the beginning of week four for me and this dating extravaganza.  I must admit the differences between each of these men have been quite vast, which has continued to keep me intrigued.  Some have been shy and not very talkative, a couple have been downright boring, but most have been outgoing and glad to interact with me in stimulating conversations.  However, there has been one major commonality with all of them, they have all wanted to share with me their one "dating story."  That one story about the wild or incredibly crazy woman that they met just that one time, from a dating site.  Whether she is psycho, loose, or both doesn't really matter.  What does matter, is that they think this is an okay subject to bring up on our first date.  Seriously, do they think that I care, or more importantly, want to know what she did or said with him?  Aren't we supposed to be getting to know one another, not unveiling an unrelated dating escapade (or should I say sexcapade)?  When did it become okay for men to share with women (specifically a woman they hardly know) their dating experiences in such graphic detail?  Personally I am all about sharing and even over-sharing with those whom I am really close with, but really that is taking it a bit too far for a first date. Don't they understand the impression they are giving at that point?  Or do men no longer care about impressing a woman? 

From over-sharing to over-stepping boundaries, these changes are not what one would expect on a first date.  Personally, if this has become an acceptable behavior from men, I must admit I don't really care for this change.  When I walk up to a shoe display, I like to see the shoes beautifully arranged so I can admire every pair from any angle.  You can see what is being offered and the qualities and flaws immediately and whether a shoe is worth your time for further inspection and possibly worth purchasing.  Unfortunately, this new behavior is like someone just threw a bunch of shoes in a giant pile on a table and said "enjoy!"  Who can enjoy that?  I don't want to dig through a pile of shoes in the hopes of finding something.  I could waste hours digging and never find the pair I am looking for or my size.  Who has time for that?  Certainly not me. 

Shoes and Men

Ever notice that dating is a lot like buying new shoes?  I mean really, think about it for a minute.  It is completely the same in many ways.  Trying to find that one perfect pump that you have in your mind, good luck with that.  See a gorgeous pair of boots only to find out they fit terribly?  Or maybe upon first glance a heel looks simply fabulous but once you get a closer inspection you notice that it is cheaply made and falling apart.  Really, the similarities between dating men and shopping for heels are quite astounding.

Take my very first "date."  On paper he was impressive; his pictures were fantastic.  We had so many things in common, I thought for sure this was going to be a slam dunk.  I was already planning our second and third dates in my mind.  Then we met.  He didn't think standing up when he introduced himself was important, he already ordered his coffee, hello, this is a coffee date, right?  What a disaster.  It was like ordering a heel online.  The picture is simply fabulous, the write-up is great but then the shoe arrives and you know you have been played by good online marketing.